Speaking Subtly
by Pepper Famine
Summary: Two samurai meet every night to follow their carefully planned out conversations. It's nice to be away from the others sometimes. Hints at slash.
1. Non so piu

Chapter 1: Non so piu

_And if there's nobody to hear me,  
I speak of love to myself!  
_

* * *

It was dusk when the two samurai made it to their nightly meeting place. The rice had been served a little later tonight than normally. Neither of the samurai, especially the mechanic, could function well without some food in their stomachs. Sure, they had been in dire straits before, fighting for days without sleeping and eating, it was their samurai duty when it was called for. Now, however, just to enjoy each other's company, they needed a full stomach to be congenial. Working all day around stuffy samurai who didn't talk much - or, in Kikuchiyo's case, talked far too much - even grated on the nerves of the most light-hearted samurai in their company.

"Moko-chan is cooking today," Heihachi said glumly. He bit into one of his rice balls with considerably less ferver than he normally did. He made a face while he chewed and quickly swallowed, not wanting the taste to dwell in his mouth longer than it had to.

"You're unlucky, my friend. Kasuhara-san was still cooking when I went. She must of let her daughter take over right after I had recieved my own food," Gorobei said. Heihachi looked at the older man expectantly until Gorobei finally traded him for one of his own rice balls.

This rice Heihachi did chew slowly and with relish, grinning widely as he picked a few pieces from his lips and cheeks and put those in his mouth as well. "Poor girl needs to get better soon if she's going to make a decent wife."

"I believe that a good wife can have many good traits and still not be a good cook," Gorobei said, almost chiding his younger friend.

"Not the way I see it," Heihachi retorted, his grin spreading. "Then again, I'm never going to really have a chance at marriage either."

Gorobei shook his head; he was pretty sure he knew what his friend was implying, but decided to ignore that more unfortunate thought. "Oh, come on now. You have a better chance than I do! I'm so old, and what woman would want some crazed older samurai following her around?"

Heihachi stopped chewing his next bite of rice as he lifted his chin up, the tell-tale sign of the mechanic in deep thought, as Gorobei had come to realize. "Yeah, you probably wouldn't leave her alone. You'd latch onto her and annoy the hell out of her, right?"

Gorobei snorted. He didn't mean for the conversation to turn against him. Knowing where Heihachi was going with this, though, he decided to join in a bit and poke fun right back at the other man. "And you, with your wood-chopping. I would think a woman would get sick of all the ruckus after a few hours."

"Wood-chopping? That the best you can do?" Heihachi's eyes opened and shined with mischief as they summed up the older samurai. "What about all your weird body contortions? I would think a woman would feel inadequate if her husband could out-perform her in the marriage bed."

"How do you know I contort my body during sex?"

"Why wouldn't you? I think it'd make the experience all the more pleasurable."

"How would you know?"

Heihachi was thinking again. Apparently, he was looking for an exact statement from Gorobei that the older samurai wasn't quite hitting. He planned his attack further. "I guess I wouldn't know. I've never had a partner that was, uh, gifted like that." His chin tilted up again. Gorobei was unsure if he was supposed to join in with another jab or if it was still Heihachi's turn. "But, how can I know for sure that you do or don't-"

Gorobei got it. He almost groaned at the boy's forwardness. Instead, though, he put a big, teasing smile on his face and interupted Heihachi's sentence, wherever it had been going. "Then, I guess you'll just have to experience it first-hand, hmm?"

There was a small, thick silence between the two (Gorobei had no idea why. That had been what Heihachi was hinting at, right?) before Heihachi laughed loudly out into the darkening night. His voice echoed off the hills and through the rice patties, filling the entire valley with Heihachi's own distinct brand of happiness.

"You read me way too well. How did you beat me to the punch line?" Heihachi asked once his laughter had finally settled down. So that had been it. He wasn't hinting for Gorobei's next line but building to his own. Gorobei wasn't surprised he'd finally confused the two.

They'd been meeting here for weeks now, and their conversations usually followed the same ruitine. Heihachi would take some topic, decide what part of it he thought was the raunchiest (He knew sex jokes amused Gorobei while they made most of the other warriors uncomfortable or pissy.) and then ignite a conversation. His lines would set up Gorobei's, and he'd build up both of their lines into a final punchline. Heihachi was very good at planning these things while Gorobei was much better at reading the man's hints.

The punchline had come a bit prematurely - Gorobei almost made his own joke of this, but decided against it - and it was really not very funny. It had ended up being so for Heihachi, but only by accident.

"I think you need to get to sleep a little earlier tonight, my friend. You seem to be losing your touch. I hope it's not from me keeping you awake to talk with me," Gorobei was smiling, but he really was a bit concerned for his friend's health.

Heihachi snorted. "I'm not a kid, Gorobei." He looked genuinely angry and Gorobei was not exactly sure as to why. Gorobei stayed silent, not entirely understanding his friend's mood. Heihachi was side-tracked from his anger when he notice his rice had not been finished and immediately went back to eating. His head looked up again.

Gorobei caught himself staring, which was frighteningly unusual for him - his eyes and mind never wandered. He liked to think he was always quick-witted, but something in Heihachi's demeanor right now had taken him by surprise. What could the boy possibly be thinking?

The smile returned to Heihachi's face. Whatever had been bugging him was gone now. "Also, your voice. I don't think any woman would enjoy to hear your groans. You'd sound like a dying bear, or...a wounded calf."

So they were back to this again, were they? "I've always thought my voice was very melodious. Still, you think a dying bear. Well maybe, but at least I can cook." Not that Heihachi couldn't. "I'm an entertainer, so she will never be bored. I'll gladly dress up in women's clothing to make her smile." Heihachi snorted again, but Gorobei couldn't tell if it was from disgust or if he was trying to hold back laughter. Knowing Heihachi, it was probably the latter. "And, I have the sharpest eye and quickest hand of anyone I've ever met. Those skills can go far in numerous ways." Gorobei sent a sly wink to his companion.

The sky was nearly completely dark. The moon was bright, however, and it illuminated the entire valley, including the two samurai. The shadows on Heihachi's face made it difficult for Gorobei to discern if Heihachi's eyes were opened or closed. He realized he was staring again, and decided to look out at the view around them instead of focusing on his companion. His attention was alerted back to the mechanic, however, when he heard him get up to leave.

"You already heading in?" Gorobei wondered.

"You're the one who said I needed more sleep."

"You're the one who insisted you didn't."

Heihachi shrugged. "Well, either way, I am tired." He stretched a bit and wiped the dust off his pants before turning to go. He stopped when he noticed Gorobei wasn't following.

Gorobei was staring at something again, his eyes dazed and unfocused. He was thinking intently or not thinking at all. Heihachi never could tell. He was never able to rise his friend out of his reveries usually, either. But, tonight, he had ammunition.

"Your offer," Heihachi stated, his back facing Gorobei.

"...offer-?"

"I accept."

Heihachi was gone, leaving Gorobei to shuffle through their conversation. When had he actually offered the man anything?

_"Then, I guess you'll just have to experience it first-hand, hmm?"_

Well, then. That punch line was a good one. He'd have to catch up to Heihachi and congratulate him on the most thoroughly planned out conversation yet. He was about to get up and do just that when the awe of the nature around him forced him to stay.

He'd be up late anyway. He had a hard time sleeping unless the night was completely dark and it was practically day with how bright the moon shone. The flowers did look lovely in the moonlight. Gorobei always had a special appreciation for flowers. Another one of his psyche's many mysteries. He especially loved the orange lillies covering one of the hillsides.

Orange flowers really did shine the brightest in the moonlight.

* * *

I hope you enjoyed this. I may continue it; I may not. I felt I needed to add to the list of fandom for this series if I was going to complain about the lack of attention these two got.

Any reviews would help. I especially would like some criticism if I'm planning on continuing this, if you please. I'm not sure if I have their characters down correctly.

- Mayo


	2. Solche hergelaufne Laffen

Chapter 2 : Solche hergelaufne Laffen

_Your tricks, your wiles,  
your schemes, your guiles,  
all are known to me.  
You'll have to get up early  
to get the better of me;  
for I know what's what._

* * *

It sure was taking a long time for Gorobei to get to their eating spot. Heihachi hadn't seen the man all day, which was not unusual given their very different assignments, but he still couldn't help but worry. Maybe something had happened to the man? Nah. If that were true, he would have heard about it a long time ago or at least while he was getting his dinner.

After sitting in the same spot for a half hour, food gone and the night's cold starting to set in, Heihachi was getting ready to leave. It wasn't like Gorobei to keep him waiting. Well, maybe it was. Maybe Gorobei had just been trying to confuse Heihachi with all the times he had arrived on time, only to catch him by surprise when he arrived late. For all Heihachi knew, Gorobei could be sitting in the bushes right now, watching him and taking bets on how long it would take Heihachi to leave.

Well, fine then! Heihachi was nobody's fool! If Gorobei was going to be an ass and make him-

"Heihachi." The sudden voice startled Heihachi, who had been standing with a determined look on his face, into letting out an undignified "eep" and turning around so quick he almost fell back to the ground.

Had it actually been Gorobei who had snuck up on Heihachi, it probably wouldn't have been so surprising. But, no, it had to be Kambei. Why was Kambei out here anyway?

"Oh, hey, Kambei." Heihachi tried to keep his voice light and airy, but it didn't do much to camouflage the awkwardness he currently felt. "Fancy meeting you out here. Need something?"

Kambei gave Heihachi a discerning look before answering. "Gorobei wanted me to tell you that he wouldn't be able to make it tonight. He wanted to make sure you still weren't waiting for him."

Still? That bastard. He had planned this all, for months and months. "So, where is he?"

"Working." Kambei answered that a little too quickly, almost as if he knew what Heihachi was going to ask next. Heihachi grew suspicious.

"Working? Really? After he's always complaining about how tired he gets after--"

"He took his rest period this morning. He volunteered for the night shift." That _was_ answered too quickly. Kambei had interrupted him, which was very out-of-character for the quiet, polite samurai. Heihachi's suspicion grew.

It actually mad sense when Heihachi began to put the pieces together. Gorobei was late, Kambei was here answering his questions as quickly as Gorobei usually did during their little "chats," and there was now the chance that they were somehow working together. Heihachi had been waiting all week for Gorobei to get back at him for winning their last conversation. He never considered that he would get Kambei in on it, but Heihachi wasn't about to take any chances.

Sure, it sounded crazy. There was no other explanation, though, besides that Heihachi might be acting a bit paranoid, but that couldn't be right.

Kambei must have noticed the distrust in Heihachi's eye, for he answered, "Gorobei asked that I keep you company. He mentioned something about the intelligent, companionable conversations you two usually have."

There was another awkward pause as Heihachi considered what the hell to do in this situation. "He did, did he?" Was Kambei referring to their perverted chats brimming with sexual innuendo? Would Gorobei really send Kambei to fill in for him during one of those said chats?

There was no way Heihachi was going to do it. It was…wrong.

It wasn't that Heihachi didn't want to be around Kambei. There were few people in this world that could ever compete for the amount of respect Heihachi had for Kambei. There was no one you could trust more or who was more competent with a blade. The man was everything every other samurai strove to be. You would be hard-up to find any flaws to describe Kambei Shimada.

That didn't mean that Heihachi was about to start chatting with Kambei about the beauty of multiple sex partners or the other odd topics he and Gorobei would discuss. Heihachi shivered a bit at the thought. Would Gorobei ever ask Kambei to chat about those kinds of things? If he did, would Kambei ever agree to it?

Yes. Probably. Gorobei could be very convincing.

Noticing the long, unusual silence stemming from the younger samurai, Kambei spoke up to fill the gap. "It's getting late, Heihachi. If you don't want to converse with me out here, then perhaps we should make our way back to the village."

Whatever Kambei had been saying was lost on Heihachi. Instead, his mind was somewhere along the lines of: Of course. That bastard really did expect me to talk with Kambei about sex.

Sex talks were weird enough with children - which Heihachi had dealt with a few times due to his curious younger siblings - but talking about sex with Kambei...It was like talking to your parents about sex, which, in many ways, was a lot worse than trying to explain it to an open-minded eight-year-old.

Something in the bushes rustled, shocking Heihachi back to attention.

Rustling in the bushes?

Of course!

Gorobei was listening to this conversation. There was no way Gorobei was going to set Heihachi up to flounder about without seeing it for himself. If that was the way it was going to be, maybe Heihachi would give in.

If he didn't, Gorobei would claim this as a win. That couldn't happen.

Pulled out of his thoughts by Kambei clearing his throat, Heihachi realized that Kambei was offering him an arm in order to help him up. The hand had been in front of his face for a long period of time, so the confused expression on Kambei's face was understandable.

"I can stay out on my own. I'm a great samurai like you, you know. Can take care of myself!" Heihachi laughed a bit, feeling the urge to elbow Kambei in the side, but managing to restrain himself. Kambei was a great guy, but one did not rough house with Kambei.

"What are some traits you might find in a great samurai?" Kambei asked seriously.

Was this a test? Or was this part of Gorobei's perverted plan? Heihachi decided to keep it innocent. "Uh, well, I suppose that a samurai is level-headed, never jumps into things without thinking, and never relies on others to do the work for him. Oh, and of course a true samurai never falls in love, right Kambei?" That last bit was meant to be a joke, but Kambei's face showed that he took that point especially seriously.

"That's a good point," Kambei said gravely. "I have seen many samurai fall to the dangers of love."

Heihachi's face fell. That was depressing. Still, Heihachi didn't feel like it was his place to argue with Kambei, of all people. "Yeah, I suppose I have too." There was nothing wrong with falling in love, right?

Kambei looked sternly at Heihachi, as if he realized that the man didn't completely agree with his words. "I think it is even more important to keep yourself pure from any and all sexual relations with those you are protecting."

And with that, Heihachi felt his brain break in about a million different places. What did that have to do with anything? Did Kambei suspect Heihachi of having a tryst with one of the locals? Was he teasing him? It was like hearing Gorobei's loud, boisterous and usually obnoxious words coming out of their solemn leader's mouth. All he could do was stare, trying not to look at Kambei for fear that he might have a stroke.

He had been unsure before, but now it was obvious. Gorobei really had set him up. Unless he had heard Kambei wrong? Better ask just in case. "Uh, what did you--"

"I'm sure I have many illegitimate children, born to a mother who fell in love with a traveling samurai."

Oh, hell no.

It wouldn't be so hard to take if it actually sounded like the man was kidding. With the way Gorobei teased him, he had become used to hearing the high lilt in the samurai's voice that usually accompanied something perverted. But no, not Kambei. He would be one to talk about sex like he was reciting from some ancient samurai texts. Gorobei was going to pay for this.

There was a bit of movement from the bushes--probably Gorobei trying to hold in his laughter. Heihachi managed to gain back a bit of his dignity at the thought of Gorobei besting him in something. It simply did not happen. Heihachi was now set on winning, and his resolve was usually quite strong.

"What a coincidence! Gorobei's been talking about the same thing a lot lately!" Heihachi chirped happily. It took every last fiber of his being to keep the smile on his face when Kambei sent him a confused look. It seemed Gorobei hadn't prepared Kambei for Heihachi actually joining in.

Gorobei just didn't give Heihachi enough credit. It would be his downfall.

Kambei was trying to save himself, but it was too late. "That's--"

"He's always concerned about the eyes all the village girls are giving me. I think he's jealous." Heihachi chortled a bit at this. "He's so old and worried about breaking someone's heart. Well, I am too, but, you know...

"...what do you think about sexual relations with your own comrades, Kambei?" Heihachi wasn't exactly sure what possessed him to ask that, but the look on Kambei's face was worth whatever embarrassment it might later bring him.

After a few moments of consideration, Kambei was finally able to answer the question. "I suppose there are times when it is appropriate. Comrades die often, Heihachi. You need a strong heart to last through the death of a comrade, even more so if that comrade was your lover." Kambei was taking this so seriously that it almost pained Heihachi to continue.

"You wouldn't object, then?" Heihachi flashed Kambei _a look_.

Kambei stared. He recognized that look. He had seen that look many times on the face of a pretty young but infatuated girl or even on the face of one of his comrades after one of his many heroic saves. On Heihachi, it looked out of place.

"I've been bored, Kambei," Heihachi swooned, pouting out his lower lip. The rustling in the bushes increased, but Gorobei did not bother to reveal himself. "How about you, Kambei? Have you been bored?"

Kambei didn't answer that question. He was unsure how to go about doing that.

Heihachi was polite. He would clear up any confusion Kambei might have. He would do that by slinking closer to Kambei, so that their shoulders were touching. Heihachi leaned his head on Kambei's shoulder. The rustling continued. Heihachi would win this. Gorobei would reveal himself and have to declare Heihachi the master over all.

"Heihachi."

Heihachi "hmm-ed" in response.

"I do not think this is appropriate. Comrades may be lovers, but it is unwise for a man to entertain the idea of having more than one--"

Heihachi let out a small whine. "Don't be like that, Kambei. I'm sure that you've had plenty of times with Kyuuzo, or at least Katsushiro--"

"I WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING SO DISHONORABLE WITH SENSEI!"

The rustling in the bushes had stopped. Standing behind them, instead of a perturbed Gorobei, was a very flustered Katsushiro.

Heihachi felt like someone had just punched him in the gut.

He wasn't able to talk, move, or even blink as Kambei slowly stood up, sending Heihachi the most concerned look he had ever seen the man give. "Perhaps you've been working too hard. You'll have the day off tomorrow to get some rest." After a moment of silence, Kambei motioned towards the sky and muttered under his breath, "And next time, find someone else to use for stirring up Gorobei's jealousy."

Kambei put an arm on Katsushiro's shoulder, trying to pull the boy away from the scene. Katsushiro was fuming from the gigantic hit his pride had taken. Still, he was able to finally turn around and follow Kambei out of the clearing.

Heihachi continued to gape a few minutes after they had both left.

Then, suddenly, when the extent of what had happened had finally hit him, he fell onto his back, letting out a loud, long groan. From this position, he was able to catch sight of something large sitting in the tree above him. Heihachi let out another groan.

Realizing he had been spotted, Gorobei left his perch in the tree, landing next to Heihachi rather gracefully. He stood there for a few moments, smoking whatever pipe he had tricked some villager into whittling for him.

"Okay. You win." Heihachi just wanted to get this over with.

"Of course I win, but to what extent? Let's summarize, shall we? You just hit on our great leader, accused him of sleeping with his pupil, and now he thinks that you and I are having some sort of lover's tiff and you were trying to make me jealous with that little show you put on. Did I miss anything?"

"I thought it was part of one of your stupid jokes!" Heihachi did his best to sound horrified, but the smile on his face refused to leave, making it impossible for him to be convincing.

"Gorobei: 1. Heihachi: 1."

"What are you keeping track of? You didn't do anything! You just watched."

Gorobei raised an eyebrow, smirking one of those horrible evil smirks that he enjoyed using so much. "Oh, didn't I?"

"...There's no way you'll ever get me to believe that you planned all this."

"Gorobei: 2. Heihachi: 1."

"STOP THAT!"

* * *

Slow as ever, but there you have it. Thanks to those of you who were still waiting to read. I apologize for the wait.

- Mayo


End file.
